Crabapple Blossoms

New postcards... HERE

Bucket List...

Speaking about my art work to the Kaysville City Art Club. Super fun!

Something Blue Bride...

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He is Risen...

He is Risen! Happy Easter.

Beautiful Indian Bride in Pink Lengha

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To Repent...

Patrick Page & Monica Bell play Macbeth & Lady Macbeth

Utah Shakespearean Festival 1989

This week I am teaching the twelve-year-old Sunday school class about Repentence. .. heavy stuff. For some reason, I keep thinking about the time when I was a laurel and my dad who was the bishop at the time allowed our group to skip Stake Girls Camp and attend the Utah Shakespearen Festival instead where we saw Macbeth. I have since learned that Macbeth can be played many different ways. Some people read the text and say that Macbeth has no regret for what he has done, he just regrets the consequences. But, Patrick Page played Macbeth differently.

He knelt on one knee as a single spotlight captured his tears that splashed upon the stage.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing. — Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5, lines 17-28)

I was sobbing as Macbeth came to realize he had wasted his short life strutting and fretting over nothing that really mattered at all. His great efforts had come to nothing but murder and sorrow. And now, at the last hour, it was too late to repent.

I have since wanted to live in such a way that it would never be too late for me. I love Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk called A Matter of a Few Degrees where he references repentence in this way,

"Remember: the heavens will not be filled with those who never made mistakes but with those who recognized that they were off course and who corrected their ways to get back in the light of gospel truth.

The more we treasure the words of the prophets and apply them, the better we will recognize when we are drifting off course—even if only by a matter of a few degrees."

Macbeth was a war hero who had gloriously defended his king in battle. He was loved and respected for his valour. He had been honored by the king. What if he had corrected himself early on? Power and ambition are the sirens that destroy so many. It can be amazing how small the kingdoms are for which we are willing to sacrifice our souls. This is the reason George Washington is such a singular figure in all of history.

In Henry B. Eyring's book, To Draw Closer to God he explains that the word REPENTANCE comes from the Greek word, "to have a NEW mind". As I thought about that, I couldn't help but think of the ad campaign, "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs." Remember the egg and the fried egg?

According to teen.drugabuse.gov , we don't have to use eggs anymore because now we have brain imaging which shows us what the brain looks like in control and using cocaine.. it's very different.

Brain imaging is now used to study the brain of compulsive gamblers, alcoholics, pornography addicts and those who suffer from any number of vices. This is your brain. This is you brain on sin.

Dr. Donald L. Hinton Jr. is a Neurologist who wrote a famous paper about the affects of pornography on the brain. His thesis.. addiction causes brain damage.

It’s the overuse of the dopamine reward system that causes addiction. When the pathways are used compulsively, a downgrading occurs that actually decreases the amount of dopamine in the pleasure areas available for use, and the dopamine cells themselves start to atrophy, or shrink. The reward cells in the nucleus accumbens are now starved for dopamine and exist in a state of dopamine craving, as a downgrading of dopamine receptors on the pleasure cells occurs as well. This resetting of the “pleasure thermostat” produces a “new normal.” In this addictive state, the person must act out in addiction to boost the dopamine to levels sufficient just to feel normal.

As the desensitization of the reward circuits continues, stronger and stronger stimuli are required to boost the dopamine. In the case of narcotic addiction, the addicted person must increase the amount of the drug to get the same high. In pornography addiction, progressively more shocking images are required to stimulate the person.

Frontal Lobe Damage

As a feedback of sorts, the frontal lobes also atrophy, or shrink. Think of it as a “wearing out of the brake pads.” This physical and functional decline in the judgment center of the brain causes the person to become impaired in his ability to process the consequences of acting out in addiction. Addiction scientists have called this condition hypofrontality, and have noted a similarity in the behavior of addicted persons to the behavior of patients with frontal brain damage. Read more.. HERE

I think any amount of sin, causes some amount of brain damage. Sometimes we don't even know we have brain damage, until we learn better. When we know better, we can do better. We can repent and we can be better.

How many scriptures are there that teach us about a new mind, a new heart, being born again?
THIS section of the Topical Guide contains some of the most beautiful, hopeful scripture we have.

What is a new mind? What is a new heart? What is a new spirit?

When I was little, I remember asking my dad if bad people could really become good. "YES!" Since then, I have seen many people take advantage of the Atonement in their lives. I have seen people change. I have seen some of them change dramatically... not all at once, but over time. I have seen broken people heal; I have seen average people become saints.

President Ezra Taft Benson said:

"For every Paul, for every Enos, and for every King Lamoni, there are hundreds and thousands of people who find the process of repentance much more subtle, much more imperceptible. Day by day they move closer to the Lord, little realizing they are building a godlike life. They live quiet lives of goodness, service, and commitment. They are like the Lamanites, who the lord said, 'were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not.' (3 Nephi 9:20)." Ezra Taft Benson, A Mighty Change of Heart, Ensign, October 1989, p.5

I know that our Heavenly Father has given us this process because he loves us. In the New Testament, my favorite story is one found in Luke. Jesus is followed about by throngs of people. He is teaching in a house, but the crowds are so thick that a man suffering a terrible palsy cannot reach the Savior carried by his friends on a stretcher. However, these friends are determined that their afflicted friend should see the Savior and so they push and pull their friend on to the top of the house where they Savior is teaching and dig their way through the roof tiles until there is a sufficient hole that they can pass their friend in to the Savior.

Luke Chapter 5:17-25

17 And it came to pass on a certain day, as he was teaching, that there were Pharisees and doctors of the law sitting by, which were come out of every town of Galilee, and Judæa, and Jerusalem: and the power of the Lord was present to heal them.

 18 ¶And, behold, men brought in a bed a man which was taken with a palsy: and they sought means to bring him in, and to lay him before him.

 19 And when they could not find by what way they might bring him in because of the multitude, they went upon the housetop, and let him down through the tiling with his couch into the midst before Jesus.

 20 And when he saw their faith, he said unto him, Man, thy sins are forgiven thee.

 21 And the scribes and the Pharisees began to reason, saying, Who is this which speaketh blasphemies? Who can forgive sins, but God alone?

 22 But when Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answering said unto them, What reason ye in your hearts?

 23 Whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Rise up and walk?

 24 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power upon earth to forgive sins, (he said unto the sick of the palsy,) I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy couch, and go into thine house.

 25 And immediately he rose up before them, and took up that whereon he lay, and departed to his own house, glorifying God.

I wonder if the Savior wasn't kind to heal the man's spirit first. Going back to Macbeth, there is another interesting speech. Lady Macbeth has descended into madness as she realizes her guilt. She is such a troubled soul that those around her fear for her. The second time Macbeth pleads with the physician to help his wife...

Macbeth:
Canst thou not minister to a mind diseas'd,
Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow,
Raze out the written troubles of the brain,
And with some sweet oblivious antidote
Cleanse the stuff'd bosom of that perilous stuff
Which weighs upon the heart?
Doctor:
Therein the patient
Must minister to himself.

The third time Macbeth says:

If thou couldst, doctor, cast. The water of my land, find her disease. And purge it to a sound and pristine health .

Very sad.

True repentance takes time. It takes work and it may be painful. After all, we are correcting brain damage. We are changing not just our spirit, but our bodies.. our whole self. We are in the process of being born again.

What sacrifice does the Lord ask of us in order to be clean, new and reborn... only a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

Elder Eyring says:
The Broken heart and contrite spirit that are the requirements for forgiveness are also its fruits. The very humility that is the sign of having been forgiven is protection against future sin. And it is by avoiding future sin that we retain a remission of the sins of the past. (Henry B. Eyring, To Draw Closer to God p.51)

I don't believe that once we truly repent that we have to wear our sins around like those forged by Ebonezer Scrooge and his friend Marley. What I mean is that I don't think you have to go through life being a "recovering addict." The Atonement provides the power for our sins to be swept completely away.

My friend Merrijane wrote this poem about holding a grudge but it can easily speak to harboring sin or even guilt that is painful to us.

Grudge

Like a dragon,
I brood over my false hoard—
sharp, glittering chips
reflect my burning.

Though plated scales armor me,
shattered glass grinds
long, raw gashes
in my soft underbelly.

Guarded and guarding,
I crouch turned in on myself,
chew open old wounds
that should have healed by now.

When will I sweep my tail,
empty this cavern,
and rest on a bare floor
of fresh, clean peace?

Ether 12:27

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

His grace is sufficient. We don't have to be a recovering anything... we can be a new mind and a new heart.

When we commit sin, there are consequences; sometimes they are terrible. Sometimes even when we repent, we can't escape the consequences of our mistakes in this life. But, for those who truly repent there are many blessings.

Doctrine and Covenants 58:42

42 Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.

I used to think that was a nice thought. No one wants to make a mistake and have it constantly brought up again. "Let sleeping dogs lie." But, as I have studied the scriptures further; as I have learned about being reborn, about having a new spirit and a new heart.. I have realized something about this scripture... The Lord knows all things, if He remembers them no more then they literally didn't happen. The atonement is the power to change history. We are as clean and pure, innocent and new as if we had never made the mistake in the first place.

Christ the Lord is Risen Today

Happy Easter.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Stillborn by Merrijane Barton Rice

Merrijane was a favorite BYU roommate. She was talented then, now she wins big writing contests like Mormon LitzBlitz with this beautiful and poignant poem.


Stillborn
You were wanted,
not an accident.
Your first fluttering cells
set plans pulsing—
names, knitting, nursery colors,
universities.
Though two others came before,
I saved a part for you.

Sometimes a heart stops beating
and dreams bleed free
in a slow, red river
of barren pain.
No healing prayers,
no reasons sought,
none given.
Just one of those things.
But it wasn’t an accident.
You were wanted
elsewhere.

Indian Bride & Groom...

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The Actual Cake...

I love this picture. I've only been able to see my cake toppers ON the actual cake a couple of times... Thank you so much Rachel..

(Photograph by Christi Baker Photography)

Custom Wedding Cake Toppers by...

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Traditional Japanese Bride & Groom Shiromuku Kokeshi

traditional Japanese Bride & Groom Shiromuku Kokeshi wedding cake toppers by...

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Alexandra Stoddard & Peter Megargee Brown

I painted these dolls for two people I really admire.

Happy 90th Birthday Peter! May heaven's best blessings be yours...

The Train

I picked this up at the library yesterday and we watched it last night. The film is losely based on actual events that occured in the days just before the Allied invasion of France. Any film that honors the courage of the French Resistance is usually a film I want to see. This one is a little disappointing in the script which could have been tighter.. yet I really found it quite gripping even though it's lengthy as well. I think this is a classic to see. And, this is a drama you can invite the husband to watch with you.

Sleeping Beauty

Dolly, Cake Topper, Party Favor

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Don't Carry It All

Cover of Don't Carry It All by Lindsey Stirling and Shaun Barrowes

Peanut Butter Cookies

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 cup fresh ground whole wheat flour

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1 1/4 cups dark brown sugar, firmly packed

1 1/4 cups white sugar

1 cup butter salted

3 large eggs

1 tsp good Mexican Vanilla

1 cup Adam's Crunchy peanut butter

Bake at 375 for 9 minutes

Surprise!!! GIVEAWAY!!!

$100 Credit to Love Boxes Shop for or toward any item you would like... 

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Everyone welcome to enter.

Easter 1974

Robert Todd & Tiffany 1974

Poor Man's Lasagna

This is the original recipe.. which is great.. I made a few changes which is why I've reposted it here.



Poor Man’s Lasagna

• 16 oz penne pasta
• 1 lb hamburger
• 16 oz cottage cheese
• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 1 jar spaghetti sauce (24 oz)
• shredded cheese
• 1 yellow onion chopped
• Johnny's Seasoning Salt

Boil the pasta according to instructions on packaging. Drain the pasta and return it to the pan. While the pasta is still warm, I like to add the cream cheese and cottage cheese to the pan with the pasta. Stir together until well mixed.
Brown the ground meat & chopped onion. I usually add a little Johnny's seasoning . Drain the meat.
Layer a 9×13 pan with pasta mixture, meat, and pasta sauce. Repeat. Add shredded cheddar cheese on top. Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes.
If there are a lot of leftovers, I often freeze them for a later time. You could also freeze it before baking and it would make a great freezer meal.

Downton Abbey...

I'm obsessed. My shelter friends were discussing this and I hadn't even heard of it. When I looked it up and found the Elizabeth McGovern was starring as Lady Cora... I bought the first season and gobbled it up.. and then went to Costco and gobbled up the second season like a novel that you can't put down. I tried folding laundry, but you really can't take your eyes of the screen.. so that didn't work.
What will happen to Mr. Bates and his faithful wife? Will Matthew and Lady Mary ever make it work? What will happen to Downton in the new age? Lady Sybil and the chauffeur? I can't wait to find out.

Maggie Smith is so brilliant. I love watching her roll her eyes, plot, manipulate and act all tough.. we know she's a marshmallow on the inside. Love it...

Downton Abbey

Don't miss.

Little Dorrit...

This was one that I missed when it aired on PBS... Goodness. This adaptation is brilliant and all family members but one are obsessed. I should buy it though. I hate how everything from Netflix comes scratched.. Netflix is on my list this week.

The Secret World of Arrietty...

I have to say that this film moved a little slow. However, my children were mesmerized by it... they barely blinked. TRAILER HERE..

Lunch for my Valentines...

I have been waiting all month to have a lunch for my Valentines.. today was finally the day and even though there was small water issue and the disposal broke and a few other mishaps.. It mostly came together.. I did leave the broccoli in the steamer for the second time it did not make it to the table.. I'm done with broccoli..

Happy Valentine's Day... We're celebrating all month :)

George Washington... Happy President's Day!

George Washington...

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No Man has a more perfect Reliance on teh alwise, and powerful dispensations of the Supreme Being than I have nor thinks his aid more necessary.

~George Washington to William Gordon, May 13, 1776.

Alicia's Cute Family...

Have your custom family painted...

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Bell Jar...

Thanks to Michelle for showing me this fun way to display

Love Boxes Portrait Peg Dolls...

It will be nice to release all thoughts of Bell Jars from Sylvia Plath.. thank you very much.

Shelter

This above are photos of Jen's brilliant President's Day Lunch.. the only President's Day lunch I've ever been to.. but I hope there will be many more. Thank you Jen! It was a perfect day. (Fabulous photos courtesy of Jennie Dopp.. Thank you Jennie!)

Friendship is a sheltering tree... ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Most of us don't need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with. 

~Robert Brault

Gratitude is a Princely Grace...

I wrote this article for Homemakers for American and they didn't end up using it.. so I'm going to publish it here and hope it's helpful to someone...

In the age of Entitlement, Gratitude is a Princely Grace: 10 Ways to make Gratitude Part of Your Childrens Lives

One of my husband’s professors in business school related a story about boarding a big city train with his large family. He was asked, "Are ALL of these children yours?" He answered that they were. "In a world of finite resources, how can you in good conscience have so many children?" The professor answered back, "We teach our children to contribute more than they consume." In an age of entitlement, that is the answer to many of society’s ills. But, how do you do that. Here are a few things that worked in my family growing up that I am trying hard to teach my own children.
1. Teach your children to love books. My mother and father read to us often. My mother preferred to read us large format stories with amazing pictures by talented artists. All of my mother’s children are art lovers. We loved horses, my dad read us books about horses: The Black Stallion, My Friend Flicka and Black Beauty. My Dad also loved the great poets and introduced us to Kipling, Shakespeare, Dickinson, Frost and others. When I was little, my parents weren’t rich, but we were surrounded by great books and so we had the world at our finger tips even though we lived in a very small town. We were introduced to other cultures and ideas and we knew what real poverty looked like. I remember coming home from the school library with a teen romance and having my dad send it right back to be replaced by books like The Hiding Place, The Robe, and books by James Michener and Irving Stone. I learned from those books about history and great writing and about courage and loyalty and other great values. I’ve noticed that many of the books on the current school list are quite light some of these consequential themes.
2. Be vigilant about the media you allow in your home. Children do not understand that the point of a program like The Simpsons is to make fun of bad behavior. Children will see you laughing and they will imitate that behavior. Bart is banned in my home as is Shrek and anyone else with bad manners or poor morals. Sponge Bob.. NO! I don’t expect that characters in books, music or film will always make right choices, that’s not art reflecting life, but I don’t allow media in my home that is not honest about the consequences of wrong choices. Children need to know that consequences always follow choices. In addition to the moral depravity you will keep away from your children, you will also keep them from advertisers who are anxious to tell them they can’t live without this or that thing.
3. Teach your children about money. I don’t believe in allowances. Out in the world, you don’t get an allowance, but I also don’t pay my children for every little thing they do. I don’t get paid for every little thing I do either. Some jobs we do just because we are part of a family and it takes efforts by everyone to make things run smoothly. After a certain age, children should be responsible for their own things. But, I also believe there should be ample opportunities for children to earn money of their own. When they are old enough to earn their own money, they should also be taught to manage it. What percentage should be saved? What can be spent? AND, what should be donated? Yes. I believe that children should learn to tithe. They should give 10 percent back to the Lord. If they don’t belong to a church, there are other ways they can learn to give, but a portion of what they earn should be given back in some way. I suggest ten percent. They should be taught to be charitable by example.
4. Teach your children to be grateful. This is pretty easy I think. If you are grateful, if you use the words "please" and "thank you" even when speaking to them, they will use those words as well. Count your blessings and teach your children to count theirs. Remember people in conversation who have helped you during the day, "Wasn’t it kind of that man to open our door?" Mention to your children how grateful you are for your home, for your church for your country and they will feel those things too.
5. Give your children yourself rather than toys or things. Nothing creates a brat faster than a child who is given stuff rather than attention. Nothing makes a child feel more special that a date with dad for ice cream. When I was little, I thought my dad loved pushing us in the swings more than anything else in life. Every once in a while my mom would say, "It’s your day, we can do whatever you want." Those words still make me happy.
6. Teach your children to admire the wonders of nature. My parents are not campers or outdoorsy in any way, but my dad loves his vegetable garden the pretty songbirds that visited our backyard, the sunsets and the stars. My mother loves the mountains, the flowers and the change of seasons. Growing up they often commented on these things and brought them to our attention and made us feel and acknowledge the wonder of the beauty around us.
7. Teach your children to have great joy in simple things. My grandfather always anticipates seasonal produce. He loves to stop and buy the cherries from a local grower, get the Vidalia Onions just as they come to market and buy the pick-your-own fresh peaches to make a pie. If you can’t be excited about the first bite of a new fall apple, you are missing something great in life. But, my point... there is something wonderful to celebrate everyday. Learn to be giddy about peaches and you’ll have a pretty happy life.
8. Learn to be patient. No one is above experiencing traffic, spilled milk, long lines and other minor irritations. Don’t make a big deal out of these things and the kids won’t either. Impatience is a lack of gratitude.
9. Don’t be afraid to discipline, but don’t yell and don’t hit. The point of discipline is to teach a child to discipline him or herself. If your kid doesn’t unload the dishwasher and you choose to ignore it, you aren’t doing the child a favor, When a child grows up and they don’t do their work... their boss will fire them. Families should be a training ground to make children ready to care for themselves and others. Allowing a child not to follow through teaches them that they are somehow entitled.
10. Love them. Let them know that they are loved, valued and appreciated and they will learn to love, value and appreciate others.
In my family now and growing up. These are some of the things that made a difference. I grew up in a family of seven children. All of my siblings have become people I admire and are people who contribute more than they consume.