Friday, July 08, 2011

Wearing grief... a few thoughts...

I have been noticing these vinyl signs on vehicles everywhere lately. In loving memory of... somebody that someone loves. I found this decal HERE...

It's an interesting phenomenon and I wonder about it because I think about death a lot. I don't think it's morbid. I just think of it as an experience we all face. I'm afraid of it a little bit. I don't want to die before I've done what I need to for my kids. And, I don't want to be left behind by those I deeply love. I don't want it to hurt, but I know that it probably will.

My husband's grandmother was a good friend to me. I went to visit her on her birthday once when she'd been a widow for about six years. She said, "Why am I still here?" I didn't know the answer to that, but I was grateful for her faith and for her courage. I knew she was ready when the time came and I was grateful for her help and wisdom while she was still living.

Some people have a very private grief and some people are more open. Once walking in the cemetery I saw a young woman weeping over the grave of a lost child. My initial reaction was to run over and hug her and have a good cry with her. Would that have been right? You don't know. I felt that I had invaded her private space... I found the depth of her love for a child she had known for such a short time to be sacred and exquisitely beautiful. But, I didn't want to walk there anymore and chance disturbing her again.

When people have these markers on their cars.. to me it says, "my heart is broken and I hurt." As humans the best we can do for each other is to "do unto others as we would have done to us." But, there is a greater comfort. Our Father in Heaven knows how to comfort each of us according to our need. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows the intricacies of our hearts and he knows how they break and he knows how to mend them. The more we seek to become like Him, the greater ability we will have to do unto others as THEY would have done unto them. I know that our Savior has paid the price to heal every mind and body and heart and make it whole.