Friday, March 25, 2011

The Flip Side of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know and Men Can't Say

A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after. ~Gloria Steinem
No woman should be authorized to stay home to raise her children. Women should not have that choice, because if there is such a choice, too many women would make that one. ~Simone de Beauvoir
I have a university degree and worked for a number of years after I was married. We waited until my husband had graduated and started in his career to begin our family so that I could be at home. I knew that I would never be able to leave my child in daycare. I realize that some women don't have a choice (This book is not a diatribe against working mothers).
It's true that my brain isn't stimulated by laundry (although books on tape help :) I don't love to change diapers and do dishes. But personally, I do love to be with my children. I love to watch them learn and grow. Teaching them their colors and numbers and then to watch them read, ride bikes, have friends of their own is amazing.
Even though I loved my work-life outside the home, mothering is the most creative, complicated, rewarding work I've ever done. I'm grateful that I have a husband who has prepared himself professionally and is willing to support our family. He has my great respect.
I hope that my daughters will find a man like him when they grow up. Will they? I see our feminist culture as the kryptonite to the supermen our boys want to become. By treating their rough and tumble elementary school games as bullying or expelling them for throwing snowballs (ridiculous). Banning recess?
There is a teacher in our school who has recognized this problem. She runs her class around the track before math. The class moves between every subject. She incorporates music and jumping jacks. Her classes are always filled with the "behavior problem boys" who turn out not to be problems in her class at all. The boys love her and they love school.
But, elementary school problems are just the beginning, the world has become hostile to men.
Feminism doesn't recognize the inherent differences of boys and girls, men and women and both suffer because of it. Feminism has been shoved down our throats until what was once considered shocking is a normal part of society to great cost. Broken families abound creating poverty, crime and other social problems at an alarming rate. Women put off having children for careers and advanced schooling to the point that infertility is rampant. 1.2 million abortions are performed in the United States every year. And, yet feminism has been considered a great step forward in society.
It's just the beginning of the lies that any fan of old movies, like myself, knows for what it is. Watch Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Gary Cooper and Jean Arthur in films made before 1950 and you will know that American Women had equal rights long before Gloria Steinem came along.
I could go on forever, but I'll say this. I heard a stranger say the other day, "I don't want a woman who walks in front of me. I don't want a woman who walks behind me. I want a woman who will walk beside me." READ THIS BOOK!


Colby and Jessica said...

I've been looking for a good book to read lately and this sounds like just the one! I am excited to get my hands on it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention; I think I'll really enjoy it!

Janice said...

I've added it to my book list. As you know, this is an old "saw" of mine.

sws said...

sounds like a brave book to write....thanks for the recommendation!

Circe said...

Bring it to lunch! :)

GeNee said...

Anyone who would take their under wear off and burn them seemed more than nuts to me!

GeNee said...

What can I say but they were a little crazy burning their bras and such! I did not pay much attention to them.

Alicia said...

Feminism undermines itself all the time. The fact that women buy into it states that they are not comfortable in their own womanly skin...and isn't that the point of being a feminist? However, I feel bad for cultures where there really is oppression of women and I think that women studies are a valid academic pursuit, but too often the women studies folks are uber feminist. I found anthropology to be a go between. Good points, Tif!

Basically, I wish I were more feminine. I think the work force hardened me a bit. I used to get ticked all the time that if I were hard nosed, I was just a b word that rhymed with witch, but if a man colleague of mine was hard nosed, he was just "no nonsense" or a "tough guy". Inequalities in the workplace abound and many women do not have the choice but to work. By work, I mean, competition in the workplace with male counterparts. So that's lame. But it didn't make me want to burn my bra or go have sex before marriage. It did make me want to stick it to the man, though. Which unfortunately, made me cynical and irate a lot of times.

I asked my husband if he'd prefer if I were a softer, wifey wifey kind of chick. He just said "it would make things a lot easier sometimes." That was his uncensored, honest response. Ha.

I would like to be more ladylike and I would like to raise my daughter to be ladylike. By ladylike, I think of Laura Bush: educated, trained, good mother, good influence, good manners, etc.

I agree with you Tif that uber feminism doesn't inspire chivalry in young or old men. We need show more gratitude to our working men for all they do. Working is a pain in the butt. And not fun or glamorous at all. Just like staying at-home. It lacks variety. Too bad we can't switch off every other day.