Thursday, June 18, 2009

On being a little black rain cloud & the lack of civility...

I try to keep this space a happy place for people to visit and I need to do that better in my personal relationships with people.. I think that I can be a little black raincloud sometimes (and even a big one like this that passed over my house a few minutes ago). C has the same problem, in fact he has often said that B negative is his blood type AND his motto. This is not good.
We need to be happy and act happy and we are working at it! We need to be like my hero Gordon B. Hinckley and try to find ways to discuss serious subjects in positive ways. I realize that even he couldn't do that all the time, but he was amazing and almost always had a positive attitude.
In addition, I think that we need to have the courage to encourage others to act in more positive ways. I ran into a bully at the market the other day. He (a sixty something well dressed, large man) treated a woman I admire rather badly. Sadly, I did not have the courage to tell him not to pick on my favorite grocery clerk. I tried to apologize to her for his rude behavior, but that is not the same thing. (I seriously don't think you can get into heaven if you treat grocery clerks and waitresses rudely!) We have allowed our society to have a greater and greater lack of civility and I have tired of it.
When I came home from the market, I explained to C what had happened and why it had upset me. He said that it is difficult in a stressful moment to know what to say and so I should consider memorizing something for such an occasion. He said to say this, "Sir, you are disgracing yourself and making others uncomfortable. Please excuse yourself until you can behave like a gentleman."
So, that is what I am going to say next time. (Brilliant C should have his own blog, but since he doesn't I'm free to steal all his good ideas and post them here. :)
You know, they talk a lot about behavior and bullying at little c's school, but how are children going to learn how to behave in a kind & gracious ways if their parents and grandparents act like bores (a tiresome person) & tyrants (one resembling an oppressive ruler in the harsh use of authority or power) at home and in public.
Our new motto is B Nice.. or sit out in a flower patch and think happy thoughts until you can!


Shauna said...

Sadly, as you point out, children learn rude and uncivil behavior from their parents...and the media they are saturated with.
I am afraid I am now bold enough that I would have had words with that man, in fact, I know I would have. I have defended many a clerk or waitress who was being bullied. I dont know if it is because I am getting old, brave, or just see this too often. Perhaps a combination of all three.

Jennifer said...

I'm a friend of Circe's; your headline on her bloglist caught my eye. Thanks for this post. I like C's input, and would add that anything like that goes over better with a smile. I bet your words to the clerk did help, for they surely replaced a bad taste in the mouth with a sunny, validating one.

love.boxes said...

Jennifer, you are oh sooo right and I wish that I had included that piece of wisdom in my thoughts originally! I remember once when we were broke and we needed the help of some good mechanics.. C asked them nicely with a smile and a box of donuts! :) People are almost always willing to help and be kind when they are treated with respect.