I am well into reading the book Bunkhouse Logic by Ben Stein. A couple of days ago I read this passage, which had me really thinking. "If your're a salesman, they'll tell you that you can't be sales manager. When you become sales manager, they'll tell you that you can't be vice president of sales. Whey you're vice president, they'll swear that no sales veep has ever made it to president. And then when you become president, they'll stop speaking to you pure and simple." Ben Stein thinks that this is a symptom of jealousy, I'm not so sure because parents do it to their children all the time and I think it's weird to be jealous of your kids. I want mine to reach for the stars and make it. So does my dad.
My dad has never been one of those CAN'T people. If I came to him as a kid and said I want to run the marathon in the olympics, I know he would have explained to me what it takes.. the hours of training and the pain it would require to get to that place and then he would have said something like, "if thats what you really want, you can do it!"
I have tried to do that with c. She used to want to be an inventor/designer when she grew up and so I told her that she really needed to understand the funamentals of math and science, that she would have to study art in many forms and learn to think differently and learn to be really creative... in other words we better start with times tables and make sure we know those really well! These days she has a hero complex and wants to be an FBI Agent... should I take her to the shooting range? Anyway, I try to follow my dads example and I don't say "can't".
I don't think that children need to be protected from the work it will entail to achieve their dreams and I don't think it's wise to tell them they are the next American Idol if they sing like a screeching cat, but I do believe like Ben Stein does that we don't have all the information when we judge another persons dreams because we don't know how much they want it... and that is the most important thing. If someone really wants something, they will be willing to do the work it takes to get there.
My dad has always encouraged the work part. I remember telling him many times that I've tried this or that and of course I'm not there yet. His attitude is.. keep thinking.. keep trying.. try something new until...
My dad believes that dreams are achievable and so my dreams have been safe with him and my siblings dreams have been safe with him and they have all done some amazing things.
Dreams are important to people. Mine are very close to my heart. I love to be around people with big dreams, some of them will change the world.
Whether or not all of my dreams come true, they are where my mind is when I'm doing the dishes or folding the laundry and they make mundane things sparkle and shine. So, they are worth having and worth tending. And, it is a benediction to be trusted to safely tend the dreams of others.
8 comments:
What a beautiful post. you are a perfect example to c of following your dreams. She has the tenacity to work for hers, and that is wonderful. If she grows up to be as compassionate and passionate about following her path as you are, then she'll be A-OK!
What a beautiful post. you are a perfect example to c of following your dreams. She has the tenacity to work for hers, and that is wonderful. If she grows up to be as compassionate and passionate about following her path as you are, then she'll be A-OK!
Well said and so true.
I do agree with Ben Stein on the jealousy perspective, not with our children, however.
People pull each other back and too many times we allow them to pull on our dreams until we let them go.
I know you are back in full force when you have time to write such a lovely post! Great perspective for me to remember with my kids!
Great post. Yay Dad! Love him! I seriously haven't read anything more beautiful than what you just wrote, Tif in a while. And I thought I was reading some good books these days! Well written. I just wrote an equally long post on my blog but it was all about shampoo! How silly. Anyway, I loved how you said what you said. This whole becoming a mom thing makes me nervous. It's scary to think about it. Yikes! I just put myself into a panic. I'm glad I can rely on family and friends who are moms and can be good examples to me, and even at times talk me through it.
That was probably the most beautiful blog entry I've ever read. I'm tearing up actually! It's true. People in our family have big dreams, and dad has been supportive and willing to listen, even when our dreams (ok my dreams) don't sound very realistic or sensible, and he patiently listens to the updates for all of the information I find out when I'm researching what it will take to do what I want to do, and he is so encouraging every step of the way.
That is true about your Dad, he thinks pretty big himself. An idealist and optimist most of the time. That was a beautiful thing you wrote about him. I will have to have him read it. And beautifully written too!
Wow! You made me cry. Dad and I used to go walking in the cemetery early in the morning, and he used to listen to me talk about my dreams. Nothing ever seemed too out of reach to our Dad. My dreams have changed since I was that teenage girl walking with Dad, but the dreams that have come true, the ones that are most dear to my heart, have come true because of him. He never let me settle, so I married a Prince Charming, in the temple. That is the most important one. Remember when we went to the movie The Incredibles. There was a cartoon short at the front that we all loved that had a character called The Great American Jackelope. That's Dad.
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