The California Gull is the state bird of Utah. Go Figure. One comic said this proves we are a low self-esteem state (The Colorado Blue Spruce is our state tree... I know, it's pathetic). Anyway, since the California Gull is the state bird you can't shoot them. To me it's like saying the common garbage rat will now be our state vermin, so don't poison them.
With these thought in the back of your mind I'll tell you a story. I like to take my daughter and her cousins to the park. They have a lot of fun playing together and enjoy this park because they can scooter all over the place and I like it because I can sit on a hill in a chair and see almost all they places they scooter, except Jake. Jake is too small to scooter, which puts his usual bad mood into a worse mood (don't think I'm judging him.. he's the relative most like me) and at the time all these bad mood troubles were compounded by the fact he was two.
When I go to the park, especially with Jake in tow, I always remember to bring quite a few snacks. It's frightening to go with Jake unprepared. And yet, on this particular day, I found that I had but one granola bar in my purse. This was going to be trouble I knew so I waited to give Jake the granola bar until I could see the volcano of his unhappiness was about to erupt.
As I gave him the bar, there were several families there with loaves of wonder bread and the Sea gulls were swarming like bees (idiots!)! Can you just imagine the filth they leave all over the grass the same grass the kids are playing on? Plagues have come from less. Anyway, as Jake is contentedly eating his bar, one Seagull swoops out of the sky and tries to take his bar. Jake starts to scream, which makes me boil. So, in front of all the cute families feeding the lovely vermin, I take off my big wedge sandal and hurl it at the Seagull as he makes a second attempt at the granola bar. On my best day I can't hit the side of a barn, but for some reason in a puff of feathers, I nail the Seagull and he drops out of the air like a brick.
The happy vermin feeding families are mortified by me and jaws drop everywhere. Disgusted moms give me crusty looks. But, Jake loves me... Don't take my bar. Mine!
15 comments:
Oooooh what a great story! Made better in the telling!
That is awesome! Way to go. Yeah, seagulls are "our" bird, but they are so scrubby and filthy. That story cracked me up. Thank you!
I hope the seagull lived! That is hilarious though...I can't stop laughing...
Hilarious story especially in light of your recent activity with some rude geese. It must have made you so proud to nail that one. I am very impressed with your aim.
That's great--lucky Jake to have such a quick-thinking & protective aunt!
Ha! You nailed the state bird!! I love this story.
we are grateful that the seagulls liked the crickets back in the day. but they like everything else too and they are a bit pushy. ive often heard that if you were to put a seagull and a brick into the oven at the same time, the brick would get done sooner and taste better!
That is a hilarious story! I'm glad you safed Jake's granola bar.
You go!! I am laughing just thinking of your attack!
I love it! You are the Hero! Here in Southern California, miles, a mountain, and more mies from the coast, the goal of every kid at the high school is to graduate without getting pooped on during lunch by the scavenger sea gulls swarming the quad. My kids made it. I however got it twice, once at the harbor and once on the beach. eeewww!
isn't there some law against attacking the state bird...i mean what is the penalty for an attack on our national bird?? you'd better keep this on the low down, Tif! Ha Ha!
Too funny....I am laughing out loud reading your blog.... great. I would have done exactly the same....
Hahahahahah!
You are my hero.
OH my Heck that is too funny! I LOVE IT! When we lived back in Roy, I wanted to see how fast a seagull would come flying by if I threw a piece of bread on the street. I kid you not, not more then 30 seconds went by and a seagull had come to take it. I hate them too, there annoying birds, there imposters at the park when you want to feed the ducks.
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